The End?

     Sitting at my desk in my room I can't help but feel like nothing is real here. My desk is a table at the Paper Factory Hotel in New York. My room is filled with ten other girls whom I can talk to all night about anything I want. My desk is surrounded by all my friends around it as we write each other notes and reflect back on our day, not pencils and books. My room is crowded with dirty laudry, chip bags, empty water bottles, and friends, not laptop bags and schoolwork. I should be eating take-out on a big leather couch curled up with everyone, not picking at Raman noodles alone in silence. I feel like I have left my home and am in a strange old world that I once knew but that is somehow lost to me now. How am I going to fall asleep without the sound of ten other people breathing? Without the lights and noises of the city? Where will I go in the morning if I can't eat breakfast with everyone? How will navigating the school halls feel compared to navigating the subways? How will schoolwork feel compared to service? How will my day be without seeing the faces I have become so accustomed to? I don't know the answer to these questions but I do know this- I feel like the work we did in New York filled a hole in my heart that can only be filled in dedicating your time to others, and now the hole has returned because I am back home. But rather than being sadden, this newly emptied space in my heart is fueling me with a desire to do more. I want to make a change. I want to leave my mark. I want to matter to people, to make a difference in their lives. I want to continue doing work like what I have done in New York even though I know I can never recreate that experience. And I want to give back, because I feel that that is the best way to thank God, or the Universe, or what ever higher power there is, for giving me the blessing of this trip to New York. There are no other words to describe it other than life changing.
     Our journey does not have to end here. We can choose to continue on with our work everyday from now until forever. Service is a choice and we can choose to make that choice on a daily basis in small ways to make a huge difference. The end of our trip will not come unless we choose to stop making the choice of service. If we choose to continue then New York will be infinite.